For Partners

What if she got pregnant?

Surprise! She just said “those 3 words”? I am pregnant.

Now what? These 3 words have literally changed your life forever. No matter what you decide to do about this, your life will never be the same. If you feel overwhelmed, scared, depressed, happy, excited, confused, and upset all at the same time, it’s ok. That is normal. Let’s talk about your partner for a minute. How is she feeling? Imagine that telling you may be one of the hardest things she has had to do so far. She may be scared about your response, not care about your response, or needing your support on what to do next. Each woman is different and faces this in her own way. She needs time and support to process the emotions she is going through and the changes that are about to happen to her body no matter what she chooses to do with the pregnancy. Her body has started to go through several changes. If she has chosen to include you, then realize your support is extremely valuable to her. If you aren’t sure what she needs, ask her. This isn’t the time to try and guess or read her mind. Clear communication is key.

We understand that guys have many questions about what is going on as well. The number one question is always…are you sure?

You may be looking for more information to help her, or you, or both of you on how to understand and handle this unexpected situation. Perhaps this is a great thing. Perhaps you only met up with her one night. Perhaps you have been together for a long time. Perhaps this is an inconvenient unplanned thing that has your mind swirling. Whatever side you find yourself on, we are here to help with information and counseling on options.

Here are some thoughts for consideration that may help you through this:

• Check out the pregnancy symptoms list to check what some of the common symptoms are. Although this won’t diagnose the pregnancy, it can give you an indicator of what to look for and be aware of.

• Listen. The power of a listening ear as she thinks, reads, researches and processes through all of this is so important. She may want to talk or she might not want to talk at all.

• Stability. Her body and hormones are changing. Her moods may be all over the place. Her food cravings may be all over the map as well. That being said, be solid and steady. Whatever she needs and however she reacts in the moment, be a steady listening ear that stays calm as she is processing things.

• Educate yourself. There is a lot to know. Research and get information with her as she is looking at options so that you are educated as well.

• Express your feelings. This isn’t the time to play tough guy. It’s the time to be real and have real conversations. Be open and willing to share how you truly feel about her without pressuring her into any certain outcome.

• Support System. She has her tribe and you need your guys too. Find those mentors, friends, adults, and parents in your life that you can trust. Ask for their advice. They have had a little more time on this earth and their perspective might be helpful as you support her and together talk through your options.

Condoms and other birth control methods do not guarantee that your partner will not become pregnant. As a matter of fact, over a million young women in this country face unplanned pregnancies each year.

• Avoiding the opportunity for her to become pregnant is the only 100% method that works. Here are a few questions to consider when choosing to be sexually active:

• What if your girlfriend became pregnant?

• Are you ready to support a child with your time, energy, and money?

• Will you go with your girlfriend to tell her parents the news?

• Are you willing to marry her and give your child a two-parent family?

• Would you be willing to release your child for adoption?

• Are you willing to learn all about the potential options she is considering?

What about Parenting, Adoption or Abortion?

Parenting

Does parenting seem scary or uncomfortable? Are you asking if you are even ready to be a parent? Don’t worry, every single person that has had a baby asks the exact same question even under the best of circumstances. Yes. Parenting is a really big deal. It’s a life-long commitment…literally, but it is one of the most amazing journeys you will ever be on. There is some really good news! Are you ready? You are not alone! There is no perfect parent, and there are tons of resources that can help you find the things you need, the confidence to do your best and some amazing tips that can help you along the way. At our center we can help you with valuable resources should you choose to parent.

Adoption

Like anything in life, there are options. If adoption is something you are interested in, it’s important you know all of your options so you can make the best possible choice for you and your partner in your pregnancy. There are 3 common types of adoption: Open Adoption, Closed Adoption, and Semi-Open Adoption. You get to choose which of these is right for you. If you are interested in adoption, please let us know. We’d love to answer any questions you may have and we can connect you with the right agencies that can help.

Abortion

The desire to make this situation “go away” is a common response. The myth is that it will “go away.” However, there are many long-term impacts to an abortion that should be considered by all.

Remember, abortion is a final decision.

It is a serious decision; it is a medical procedure.

Legally, a woman has the right to choose abortion, but she also has the right not to choose it. She has the right to consider her options without undue pressure from people close to her. In reality, she must live with her decision, both physically and psychologically. This is a decision that cannot be changed. Before you encourage this choice, we invite you to meet in confidence with a peer counselor. Take time to educate yourself and get the information you both need.

An informed decision is the best decision for you and for her, and an informed decision can best be made without pressure.

To find out what abortion is, its risks, and what a woman may experience before, during, and after, contact us. We can offer you information on adoption and parenting as well as referrals for legal assistance or questions regarding DNA testing and paternity. We will also offer ongoing support for any man who needs encouragement and direction for taking responsibility during pregnancy and beyond.

Since abortion is a final decision, we strongly encourage both men and women involved in a pregnancy to seek informative counseling beforehand. However, some men are not able to be part of the decision process. Just as we offer post-abortion counseling for women, we offer peer counseling and support to any man who has been affected by an abortion decision. We have trained peer-counselors that would love to speak with you and help you understand all of your options. All conversations are completely confidential.

First Things First: Let’s confirm if she is pregnant. Then we can look to identify if it is viable, the timeline and other options.

We are here for both of you.

We are here for partners too.

Are you involved in a pregnancy situation and think abortion is the only answer?

An informed decision is the best decision for you and for her, and an informed decision can best be made without pressure. To learn more what an abortion is, its risks, and what a woman may experience before, during, and after, contact us. If you would like information on adoption and parenting as well as referrals for assistance, contact us.

We will also offer ongoing support for any man who needs encouragement and direction for taking responsibility during pregnancy and beyond.

Just as we offer post-abortion counseling for women, we offer peer counseling and support to any man who has been affected by an abortion decision. We have trained peer-counselors that would love to speak with you and help you understand all of your options. All conversations are completely confidential.